goodgravy

Hotdogs, you are quite dear to me. You are more than “lips and assholes.” Sometimes you are even filled with preprocessed cheese, and I really appreciate that. I would eat you everyday if it didn’t make me sick.

You, like bananas, come with your own packaging. You know what I’m talking about dogs. I’m talking about that thin skin. You are so perfect in your packaging that you become the ultimate portable snack. I can eat you on the bus, in class, while shopping, and so on. Hotdogs, I can take you anywhere.

With the introduction of turkey you can also be a good, non dubious source of protein. At 16 grams per dog, you are even better than eggs! Seriously, screw eggs. Who wants to deal with all those germs? Hotdogs, you are so processed there is no room for a germ to breathe. I find that very attractive.

I have to admit, I don’t really like it when you dress up in “all natural” casings. Having to pop through tough skin just to get to the hotdoggy goodness is a real turn off. So please, hotdogs, save that fancy stuff for the players. You can be real with me.

Love,

Miss D

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