goodgravy

I feel like this is something I have mentioned already, but I think I only name dropped it before. There is a book out there called How to Be Popular in the Fifth Grade. My younger sister bought it when we were little school shits, and boy did I ever read that book. I didn’t just read it, I read it. I basically inhaled that book and buzzed off it like I was riding on a real life Reading Rainbow.

To be honest though, the advice did not really stick with me. I spent a lot of time in fifth grade trimming my leg hair with scissors, and sometimes when the teacher was droning on about math I would snack on croutons I kept in my desk. You see, I was more concerned with trying to hide 7up in my water bottle than with trying to be popular. That is just how fifth graders are.

However, there comes a time in every young woman’s life when going out with Mom to buy towels is no longer an awesomely spent evening. We grow up and rely less on our family and more on our friends for social interaction. That is the time, my friends, when it is important to be popular.

That is the time, and right now it is my time. I confess I always was a bit of a late bloomer, like I still had baby teeth in eighth grade. And when other kids in high school and middle school were trying to be popular, I was just sitting around and not caring. But now, at 22 years old, I feel the need to be popular.

I have taken some of the advice from HTBPIT5G and applied it in my daily life. HTBPIT5G advises that you smile and say hello to everyone, especially people you don’t know. So I tried this the other time, and what do you know, the hobo kissed me on the cheek before he asked for my money! Good results, my friends. Also, the book suggests to address everyone you talk to by their first name, and to say their names a lot. This will strengthen your bond and suggest that you care about these people, since you totally know their names. I’ve been trying this out at my tutoring gig, and I think it might be working. The kids give me kind of funny looks, but I bet they are just going, Wow she is so popular! It probably has nothing to do with the fact that a lot of them moved here from a different country and I sound like G. Bush at a power plant when I pronounce their names. Yep. Because of the life-changing HTBPIT5G, I am going to be the most popular tutor in Millbrae. I rate the book is A+++ Would Get Popular Again.

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