goodgravy

I finally figured out how to give money to hobos and not feel like I am just helping them get sloshed on Mad Train. Because, I honestly feel super mean when a nice old homeless man comes up and acts all nice and I just give the dude a fat cold shoulder. I know there are times when it is better for me to act like that, like if business owners have problems with specific hobos it is not good to go and give those hobos money and encourage them to stay. And, living in the city of love, I know there are many programs out there dedicated to helping people off the streets, and I am already helping to pay for that when I buy mad expensive groceries. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to give my pocket change to those who are asking for it.

As I may have mentioned, I’ve met some super nice hobos, and it’s just in my nature to want to be nice back. So I’ve decided that it is A-OK to drop dollars on those nice folks, despite the fact that one is not supposed to. Like, there was this old man lounging on the sidewalk by the drug store and he was all “HEY GIRL I LIKE THOSE BOOTS!” And I was like, hell yeah you do! And then he made pleasant conversation about nice evenings and sparing some change, all gentlemanly in his nook, and his name was Roosevelt. I quickly put two and two together and realized that a man named Roosevelt would be worth his salt. I flowed him some pocket change and was like, It was a pleasure sir now go buy yourself a nice cocaine. Then he said I had a wonderful smile, even though I wasn’t smiling at all, and that was the end of that.

So the moral of the story is that you shouldn’t feel bad giving $$$ to a gentleman of the street. Dudes, let us all just party on and be excellent to each other.

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