goodgravy

My straightener went on the fritz the other morning. The timing was most unfortunate as I was rocking some very wild hair.  Other than that, not much has occurred that is worthy of noting. Well, maybe there is. Mrs. Frisby did pee on my blonde rat’s head.

Momentous events aside, I have noticed laundry day is when I get hit on the most. I’m not sure why. Is it the scent of fresh Tide, hovering in the air, that is so stirring? Is it the alluring call of anti-static Bounce sheets? Is it my tendency to wear old ass clothes? We may never know. At least today I did not get groped by Old Man Grabbins who, incidentally, made an appearance the other week. I saw him lurching across the street and trying to give old ladies some lovins. He also patted my friend on the belly and told her it was very nice.

Nope, no Grabbins today, thank goodness. Just some bros passing by. One dude was all like, that is a really hot dress! But I was mostly focused on getting some frozen yogurt, so I wasn’t paying attention. He sounded kind of offended, and was like, Yes I was talking to you! Well sorry bro. But you and I both know my snakeskin print sack dress just would not fit you, no matter how flattering you think it is. That’s life.

So the moral of the story is, move here if you want people to hit on you. It doesn’t matter what your race or gender is, because we’ve got equal opportunity creepers. However, beware. Times are rough now and you can never be sure if a dude is going to try to take your dress for himself.

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