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Happy New Year my friends. This is a time when we all make resolutions, which may or may not be broken within the next week. I don’t know about you, but I am 100% going to keep my resolutions this year. And it should be easy, since I only have one:

Be Classy.

I already started kicking off the classiness last night with my boy. We are pretty fancy when it comes to mixed drinks.  Here are some of my favorite, super upscale mixes, so you can all get your fancy pants on:

The Poopship Destroyer: Mix two shots of vodka with a (glass!) bottle of root beer. I recommend some Weinhards. Destroy.

The Get Off My Lawn: Two shots old man whiskey (think Jim Beam) and a can of caffeine-free diet soda. Pour together but do not stir. When you get to the nastiness at the bottom, make a super crotchety face.

And lastly, there is the classic Just For Kidz: Mix grenadine with 7up, add a cherry, and then drown that bitch with gin or vodka. Go hang out by a bounce house and offer to share your delicious “Shirley Temple.”

You may notice that classiness seems to invlove a fair amount of alcohol, and I won’t lie. It’s true. Which is why I’m pretty excited to go tour the Anchor Steam brewery next weekend and maybe get some classy miniature golf on afterward. Wish me luck on my quest for self-improvement!

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