goodgravy

Hey. You look like my kind of lady.

First thing, is that an artificial hip or are you just happy to see me? Because one side is totally bigger than the other. Not to worry though. It only makes you more irresistible. Asymmetrical babes get me all the time.

And hey babe, I’ll help you into your bath chair anytime. Plus, that bed? I’ll hook you up with a ladder on one side and a kiddie slide on the other. No more clawing your way up. It’s all chutes and ladders with me hon.

And girl. Forget about those dentures. When you’re with me, it’ll be 100% Gerber time, all the time. You won’t ever need to chew again. And if you want something fancy like a steak dinner, I’m there for you. Just open wide and let your mama bird take care of the rest.

Oh, leaving so soon? Where are you going? When can I see you again?

What’s that? The drugstore across the street? Now? Of course. You had me at “drugstore.” Let’s go compare prices you sexy old bird.

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